You know what sucks? The Wombury's life. Professionally, personally, romantically, financially, emotionally, psychologically. How many confidence-shattering experiences can one fellar handle? Of course, in the Wombury's warped way of viewing existence, all life is a series of crimes and punishments, so therefore all the caca that is piling up around the Wombury is totally natural and expected. And yes, I do consider teaching sixth grade from 9-1pm a valid form of punishment. It's punishment on a mythical level. Everyday the Wombury is front of those kids is akin to Prometheus having his guts pecked out by ravenous vultures, only to heal overnight and repeat the ordeal the next day. And what is our sin? Giving the gift of fire to mankind, or in the Wombury's case, giving the gift of reading xeroxed packets of short stories.
To ameliorate all this bullshit the Wombury decided to buy a new pair of glasses with the vain hope of "starting over." Starting over. Hey, now the Wombury can wear what he wants to wear and date whom he wants to date, right? Let's hope the dates go better than buying glasses. The pair of spectacles in question is so ridiculous as to arouse suspicion in the people selling beer that the Wombury is wearing a disguise. Why would the Korean ladies at the corner think such a thing? Probably because the glasses look like those classic Groucho Marx glasses with the attached nose and mustache. You would only wear these if you were trying to impersonate someone socially maladjusted from 1964. Or Michael Douglas from the movie Falling Down, where he plays a nerdy white dude who guy crazy waiting for fast food at a Los Angeles burger joint. The glasses are so unattractive that the Wombury refused to wear them to work. He wore his old pair, and then showed his new students the new pair, and they booed and hissed. One girl refused to look at me when I put on the new pair. She averted her eyes like the Wombury was hideously disfigured. It's not bad enough that the Wombury is back in middle school as a teacher, he also has the opportunity to re-experience all the charms of public humiliation that he enjoyed so much when he was a middle school student.
And now for a picture of a woman from Latvia,
(I'm pretty sure I'm starting to dislike you strongly)Until then,
The Wombury
The Wombury
