Hello Dear Readers
Posting #3! and #126 overall. Maybe the wombury should stop snorting ritalin. Or were those roofies? Can't remember. but i'm charging myself with date raping myself.
Let's recap the events of the past year.
October, 2006
A friend of the Wombury's holds a reading and book signing somewhere on the Lower East Side. later on, after the friend leaves, the wombury copes with the implications raised by the reading and book signing by drinking too much. He is asked to leave the bar after engaging in a gallant, though sloppy, umbrella/sword fight with the gym teacher of his school, and spends the rest of the evening screaming in the streets of manhattan.
Feb, 2007
On February break, Wombury buys macbook down in Soho, then has lunch and daydreams about ghandi.
March 2007
After a terrible 3rd period Global History class involving a lesson about Stalin's collectivization programs of the 1930s, the wombury freaks out at the gaping indifference to the subject matter, and goes to find his boss. he then confesses to his radiantly brilliant principal, through a veil of tears, that he hates his job and wants to leave. she tells the wombury he needs psychological help, and makes an appt. with her former therapist, dr. z. the wombury agrees to get counseling.
April 2007
After 3 sessions of counseling, the wombury and his lady friend call it quits. actually, the real cause is that the wombury, after feeling ulcer inducing moral torment over whether or not he would take the "next step", intentionally sabotages the relationship by standing up his lady-friend on two consecutive nights, forcing the lady friend to break things off the wombury or lose face. then he changes his phone number. Guiness Book of World Records shows up to the wombury's door to inform him he would be included in the 2008 edition as a finalist for being simultaneously a pussy, dick, and asshole in one fell swoop. that's tricky anatomy, folks.
May 2007
After several sessions of mental therapy, still separated from his lady friend, the wombury decides he wants to retrace the a 800 mile walk he took seven years ago, in hopes of understanding why and how his life has changed. and he decides he wants to document this process. and he decides he wants to quit his job as a teacher in the bronx, both to pursue his goal, and to prove he's not a lifer. what a schmuck.
June 2007
The wombury tells everybody his plan and basks in their excitement. his friend P comes from DC to show the Wombury how to use a video camera and take pictures. they go to the mermaid parade in coney island. at the end of june, the wombury revisits vermont to see wilco with his friends B and Mlevy. the wombury's lady friend was slated to go, but unforsee separation prevented her going. wilco was the source of friction between the wombury and his ladyfriend, as the wombury felt it imperative that any future mate of his must appreciate the genius of jeff tweedy. Guiness then informs the wombury he is also a finalist for the douchebag award. Vermont is also home of bread loaf, the pastoral, idyllic, campus of middlebury's school of english, and the site of the world's biggest camp for socially challenged boarding school english teachers who can't laid without citing proust as their biggest turn-on. this is where the wombury met the lady friend, and as such, several of their friends are the wilco show. the wombury's best friend, B, acts like the deranged, pompous asshole and embarrasses the wombury in front of his bread loaf friends, but ultimately the wombury forgives B, who leaves for a trip to mexico two days later, leaving the wombury alone in his brooklyn apartment.
July 2008
the wombury takes on summer school to raise money for his trip. he puts an ad on the internet and finds himself a videographer for the trip, named bob. his friend P loans the wombury 5 books of quality travel writing. he reads them all. then, in surprise development sure to make you weepy, the wombury and the lady friend re-unite after a 4th of july party. possibly a mistake, since the wombury has already set the wheels in motion for his departure in september. but the wombury has begun to realize how much he missed the lady friend, so he doesn't care.
August 2008
the implications of the coming trip multiply in volume and intensity, forcing the wombury to evaluate the decisions he's made. should he go, will he go, could he stay? the wombury knows that it is likely he must sacrifice his dream of becoming a well known writer or his future with his future with his ladyfriend. while pondering these decisions, he takes steps to ensure the trip will proceed forward. He takes a driving course and makes an appointment to take the test....in Hudson, NY, a small town three hours north of manhattan. the lady friend and the wombury take a trip to Hudson. he passes the test. they spend the rest of the day in the charming, cute, but largely vacant town, visiting antique shops that fill up with wealthy manhattanites on the weekends. they also marvel at the costs of homes posted on the windows of real estate offices and vocally calculate the cost of buying one , a practiced ritual that allowed room for the fantasy of future together. the weather turns stormy, they decide to stay the night and find a hotel, spend the rest of the evening in the bars drinking with the locals which initiates several rounds of buffoonish fighting,ending in the dingy bar in their hotel. the wombury strikes up a conversation with a local transvestite who is dressed in a red dress with a purple boa and garish lipstick. the transvestite asks the wombury what he does for a living and the lady friend pipes in that he's a "teacher." the Wombury's vanity is pricked and he stops talking to the lady friend. She becomes enraged. they leave the bar and go back to the room and she accuses the wombury of being attracted to 50 year old transvestites in red dresses and purple boas, and the wombury's defends his love of talking to transvestites as a necessary part of his new life as a "journalist."
then the lady friend confesses that she's never slept in a motel before and is scared of the smell and the possibility of stains on the sheets and the wombury is dumbfounded at the latent snobbery of this poignant confession and they fall asleep watching brady bunch reruns and in the morning they wake up and drive home as if nothing happened.
it is the single best date they ever had.
September 2008
the wombury leaves new york. his roommate leaves for stanford. everything ends. nothing gold can stay.
December 2008
the wombury is back in new york. teaching. in the bronx. 6th graders.
January 2008.
the wombury moves to the bronx, taking a room with a family of four, to start his life over again, lonely, craving sympathy, attention, fame, and power and love. above all love.
February 2008.
the wombury is back with dr. Z
Until then.
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