My Therapist Says I Have a "Regulatory" Problem

Hello Dear Readers,

First, the Wombury wants to wish you a happy summer full of hand-holding and bathing suits and lake swimming and dewey grass clippings and meat grilling and tomato picking and lilac sniffing and the wombury's favorite: sandal wearing. The WOmbury truly loves sandal wearing. not his own sandal-wearing, (although for a man as rugged as the wombury is, he does have rather shapely dogs)-but no, of course I speak of the ladies. love the ladies in their summer clothes. The breezy linen numbers, the backless numbers, the Ellie May numbers with the gingham top and the skin-tight jeans fastened with a clutch of rope. In homage to the sartorial splendors of the season, the wombury has posted Mr. Bruce Springsteen's fine track, "Girls in their Summer Clothes" from his most recent album. One note: if it's summer why does it look so damn cold along the jersey shore? Why is Bruce wearing a pea coat? Or is it Pee coat? or is it P Coat? Must look this up.

IN OTHER news, the Wombury's mental therapist told him he has a "regulatory" problem. She says, "You go too far, too fast," She didn't give any examples, as this was pretty much the last thing she said before the session was finished. (Isn' t that a freqently spoofed stereotype of analysis? "And our time's up and by the way you're a latent homosexual. See you next week!"). Even though she didn't illuminate her comments, I assume she's referring to the Wombury's penchant for asking women to marry him after one date, especially when drunk. She's probably also referring to the way he starts huge projects and then doesn't complete them.

While it's a kind of relief to have a name for a problem, it's a little lame, don't you think? Like searching in vain for the Easter Egg with the 5 dollar bill and finding the one with a plastic rosary instead. Why couldn't it be bi-polar disorder or clinical depression or the old standby, "manic-depression"? I even tried to convince her I had 40 percent of the characteristics shared by sociopaths, which she summarily denounced. Later she mentioned OCD, and before the words left my mouth she said, "you don't have it, and you aren't 'it'".

The wombury is fairly positive Dr Z just sort of pulled "Regulatory" out of her Freudian ass and made the ad hoc decision that "Regulatory" is a psychological problem.

Until then,

The WOmbury