Hello Dear Readers, it's the Wombury. There's been a flurry of responses after yesterday's posts, so I thought today would be as good as time as ever to answer some reader mail and comments. Elizabeth says having the stones to write about every aspect of my personal life is part of the Betty Ford Rehab process. When I told her about the fallout, she said, "Who the fuck cares? Let me ask you something: do you masturbate? Me too. Everybody does. If you told your family during Thanksgiving dinner you masturbate do you think they would love you less? No. They'll get over it."
Thanks Elizabeth. For what it's worth, I've never considered telling my family during any kind of meal that I masturbate, but if I did I'm pretty sure they would love me a little less.
D from Long Island, NY, and a 10th grade Literature teacher sent this comment in this morning, Oct 30:
"charles, franco, will, and i sat here yesterday and read your blogs. and the monday before too. they are alternately amused, frightened, concerned, and stuck in dictionaries...so...even in your absence, they are learning.
Thanks, D Glad to hear you are reading the blog. I remember the time I told Franco to read Plato's Allegory of the Cave and he didn't. And what's with never capitalizing anything ms ee cummings?
My question is: what are you frightened of, concerned about, or amused by? The fact that I share deeply personal moments because of mental instability? The fact that I refer to myself as the Traveling Wombury? Please be specific, D. And why do you need a dictionary? Have I used words like "obstreperous" or "quotidian"? (Quotidian is a latin noun that means rancid cheese. Or maybe it's a type of sprocket.).
One of the students in question left this comment back on October 5th:
So u delicate little flower u this is what u left our peaceful city for? to go on the adventures of Ren and Stimpy?"
Much obliged, Charles. D finishes her comments with some questions: "hope colorado is stressfree. how's life, on a personal level? how's nicole?"
How's Nicole? Good or bad, depending how you feel about being caught between two men. Haven't you ever seen Jules et Jim ? Classic French New Wave cinema? What the crap are they teaching at that school? Math?
Jeanne Moreau falls in love with two men and they fall in love with her. I think she drives off a french bridge at the end of the film. It's a film, not a movie. Anyway, it really didn't work. Polyandry is quite rare in the world. Only a few cultures practice. Polygamy is far more popular. In the gay community it works too, as evidenced by Chip, Michael, and Jaime's happy arrangement. Picture please:
But to answer your question, D I'm not sure. I know after yesterday's blog she was not very happy. She said to me, "You're a fucking fuck" which, as we all know is a Scandinavian term of endearment. The problem with the Traveling Wombury, among others, is that he takes the Path of Least Resistance, POLR, at all stages of life. Some people call this "Laziness." The other problem with The Wombury is that, despite his disconcerting lack of ambition and laziness, he is also oppositional. He criticizes everything. Nicole made this clear when she calmly explained that she wanted a happy life and "to get married and shop at Bed, Bath, and Beyond and not hear you BITCH ABOUT IT!"
The Wombury will admit Nicole has a point there. I'm more of a Sonoma/Williams guy, maybe even Cracker Barrel. See, there's a common misconception about the Wombury, which is that he doesn't like consumption. So wrong. I love consumption. I like going to Walmart. I consume all kinds of things: burgers, computers, cameras, magazines, sunglasses, gloves, boots, hangers, lightbulbs, rentals of season 2 of The Wire. I just happen to think Americans consume too much for no good reason other than it temporarily distracts from our shitty, empty lives. Hold on. I just remembered I'm almost 30 and unemployed and my mom thinks I need more Jesus in my life and that I'm going to hell and I have the devil in me and I have NO FUCKING MONEY except what Chase will lend me. I just bought a Foreman Grill and a lamp. That's better.
Until then,
The Traveling Wombury
5 comments:
Oh wait, you said you were masticating at the thanksgiving table. You were, however, doing so with your mouth open, which in turn led to your parents' displeasure, which in turn led to the forgiveness thing.
(I know-how far will I stoop for a stupid vocabulary joke?)Maybe, you should delete last comment. I don't want N to end it with you for something I said. Hell, delete both comments.
To ease my inner consumer whore I bought an assorted bag of fun sized Hershey's chocolates only to be angered at their amount of packaging. Luckily, the chocolate was goodish and I found I could recycle the outer wrapping of a KitKat as well as the cardboard square they put under a Reese's Cup to keep it from smooshing.
Mlevy, N left for many reasons, none of them had anything to do with what you said or didn't say. By the way, someone called my blog distasteful.
Bob,
If you're going to pimp yourself out for chocolate, make it quality shit, man. What is this Hershey's business? I know you got good taste 'cause I saw you sip whiskey. You're better than that bro.
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